Searching

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” – Matthew 11:28

Right now, I'm in a season of searching. I'm grappling to figure out what God wants me to do next, what step to take, where it's leading to, and how to prioritize my time to get there. Naturally, I think that when we are in a season of searching, we tend to feel panicked or confused, maybe even disillusioned. I can catch myself thinking, "God, how come THEY know what they're doing with their life?" Or, "I must be backsliding in my faith because I don't know what's next in my life." Our human nature desires safety and comfort; not knowing what is next in life is not the most comfortable thing in the world. I like knowing what is coming ahead of me so that I can prepare for it. But, in this season, I have learned that there is a deeper reason why God is allowing me to search.

He is allowing me to search for Him.

And to be honest, it's a privilege. Actually, it's also an adventure. In fact, it's much better than knowing what comes next. In my searching, my relationship with Christ deepens because I feel lost and know that I need to draw near to him to gain understanding. My prayer life expands as I call out to the Spirit for wisdom. My humility grows as I finally accept that I can't do it on my own, and I slowly learn that peace can only be given by God as I place all of my hopes, dreams, and future in his hand, learn to find rest admit the search.

If you're also in a season of searching--relax. God knows what he's doing.

And also, keep searching. I know, it gets tiring. Sometimes I get fed up and really want God to just give me a pretty neon sign that says "go this way." But staying in the process of searching and growing I know will produce a much better outcome than if I used my own shortcuts or stopped searching for Him.

Remember God's goodness. He doesn't lead his people where He does not go.