A few days ago I got back three rolls of film from a photoshoot I did just for fun with a friend. This was only my second time shooting film. For a long time, like months and months, I have put off trying to learn to shoot film. I have made plenty of excuses about being too busy or how I need to wait until I'm experienced. Getting them back, I'm so glad I finally took the plunge and just started shooting.
In all honesty, lately (like--the past two years cumulatively) photography has humbled me. God has used it to change me, use me, and teach me. What I thought was just my job/hobby has become something of God's handiwork in my life. Here's how it's affected me.
1.
It
has made me realize that success is a balance of God-given talent and hard
work.
I heard a friend say the other day that you
can’t just say to God, “Ok God, I’m all yours… Now make it all happen!” You
have work to do in your own life just as much as God does sometimes. Success
doesn’t happen just because you’re talented. It happens when you mix that
talent with hard work—hard work that is consistent and authentic. Pursuing
photography has made me realize that either use my talent for my own fun and to
share with family and friends, or I can put in hard, consistent work and grow.
2.
Photography
has humbled me by making me realize that I have to make mistakes, look stupid,
and experiment openly to grow.
My dream is to always produce something that is perfectly beautiful, 100%
on spot in technique, and at the same time, completely unique and totally new.
My dream is far-fetched… Especially when I put this dream on myself after not
shooting for about 6-8 months. So, I’m learning to embrace the
not-always-so-fun feeling of putting myself out there consistently, making new
things that might totally look stupid or out of style (because that’s the only
way to learn your style).
3.
Photography
has humbled me by teaching me that sometimes I will fail—but that doesn’t mean
I’m a failure.
I’ve had so many blows to my
photographer-ego the past few years that I’ve contemplating giving it up even
as a hobby. So just recently, I decided to go back to my roots and to do what I
used to do: shoot what I want, and shoot for fun. And from that, I’ve realized
that I still love shooting. I love learning. I love working with people. My
failures as a photographer do not make me a failure, necessarily. It just
seasons me and teaches me what not to do next time.
4.
Photography
has humbled me because it’s made me realize how little I actually trust God.
I should trust God with my photography work. Sometimes that’s hard
because I feel like since I’m the one running the business, it’s my burden to
carry. I should get to call the shots. But I’ve discovered that when I let God
be the one in control, much better things than what I could have done on my own
happen.
5.
Photography
has humbled me because I realize now how lucky I am to get to pursue this
career.
Photography is a popular hobby. There are a lot of professional
photographers out there. To even get to PURSUE this as a career OR a hobby at
this level is a total gift. I’m so thankful I even get to have fun with this
kind of stuff and to capture special moments.
Yes,
God has used photography as a tool to humble me more than I ever thought
possible. And I’m so glad he has, and I hope that he’ll continue as I keep
trekking on this journey.
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